My oldest plays soccer and going to her games has been a great source of enjoyment for all of us.  So far it has not just been fun, it’s also been highly entertaining.  These little kindergartners are just so stinkin’ cute on the field I can hardly take it.  The excitement they have, not just for themselves, but for each other is beyond heartwarming.  The camaraderie of players, the coaches, and the families is exactly what childhood should be like.  That is until last weekend.

Last Saturday was our fourth game of the spring season and we thought we knew what to expect.  Lots of running and kicking and smiles — with a little bit of shooting on the wrong goal thrown in for comic relief.  Thus far all of the coaches and the parents on the sidelines have been cheering for both teams.  It’s not only the right tone to set for 5 and 6 year olds, it’s impossible to avoid when you see how excited they are as they run over to their parents for a hug.

But, this week was a little different.  There was a group of parents on the other team that took intensity to a whole new level.  They weren’t just not cheering for both teams. They were quietly insulting their (volunteer) coach while belting out phrases like, “I want to see some aggression! You better get there! Why don’t you pay attention!”  It was so shocking that at first everyone else just turned and looked at them.  Then started to double their efforts to cheer for both teams.  It was like an unspoken agreement among the rest of the parents to set a better example.

After the coaches intervened a little bit they got quieter, but never really stopped.  And I could not shake the negative feeling all day.  It’s hard to tell a parent how they should talk to their own kids, but I still feel that I should have done something more.  The way to deal with bullies is for us all to take a stand.  But does that apply to parents speaking to their kids as well?  Confronting them would have definitely escalated the situation, but did not saying anything send the message to their kids that the other adults there thought it was okay for them to be talked to like that?  Because I definitely don’t.

At this point I’m settling for sharing my experience with the soccer association, but I still feel as if I should have done more.  How do you handle aggressive parents at sports games?  I would love some great advice.

PS The photo above is from a different, much more positive game this season — I just blurred the faces so there would be absolutely no confusion.